atouchofstrife | 69... ash settling on souls

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69... ash settling on souls

private\\unhackable

We've all been there. Facing death and facing the aftermath of trying to clean up. If I should I could I, so many times I think about what I could have changed is I was a little faster, a little stronger, something, anything and I wonder what I would have lost instead. I've learned that sometimes the Lifestream will take who it will and I cannot stop it. I've learned that I can't always blame myself even when I was covered in the blood of thousands of people - SOLDIERs, infantrymen, citizens, all those people that stood between me and catching Sephiroth and stopping him. All those deaths are on my shoulders yet the ones that hurt worse were the ones closest to me. And when I got sick, those two were the ones I thought I've failed the most.

I didn't. They gave me so much strength and I never knew until I stood facing him again. His legacy - heh, the legacy of a madman, a country SOLDIER and a monster. How many pieces of them are a part of me now?

I'm - I just need to stop this thinking too much. And I need to get Zack to smile again. I'm tired of seeing him like this.
/private

Thanks for coming with me, Tifa. I hope you enjoyed the ride.

Vincent, any better?

Zack, need a Potion?

Anyone want to spar?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I can imagine.

~~Nothing. It's only wrong to think that you've failed what you did do.~~

Ahaha, yeah.

~~It's... I don't know if I can change my mind about this, Cloud.~~

So I can't poke fun at you?

~~It'll take time. Just don't sit there and not talk to me.~~

You can, if you like kicking puppies.

[Private]

...What do you want me to say? What do you think I had going around in my head all this time? I mean, I just...

I know I've done a lot. I know I've helped a lot of people. But there were just a lot of times where I screwed up, and I can't get over that.

Edited 2008-11-10 01:29 (UTC)

I don't.

[private]

I didn't know.

I have the same problems, the same feelings. I've blamed myself for your death and Aerith's death. I still blame myself for what I've missed and what I allowed happen. I might have become a hero, but there's still a price on my head and a whole city wasted because of a choice I had to make when I could have done something else. I should have done something else. But I choose to move on.

It just takes time.

Well, yeah, but.

......Ha, I'm just not cut out for this.

None of us are.

...Well, Tifa is, but she smacked me from my moments.

Just... don't cut me out, okay?

...I'll try not to. My pride seriously hurts right now.

And I think I might have pissed her off a little.

It could be a lot worse. But... thanks. I'll try to do the same for you.

I'm not surprised.

You kind of always did, I thought?

...Ahaha, well, we... Mm.

I do.

You... what?

Well there you are.

I feel bad for making her listen to that, since. At the reactor... She's probably forgotten all about it, but it's still pretty fresh in my memories. I know she didn't mean it personally, but it's a little hard to shake, you know?

I was there in time to see you get your ass handed back to you by Sephiroth. I didn't hear anything.

We haven't forgotten the reactor.

She needed someone to cast that hate and pain on. I guess, when Sephiroth lost it, I took it as another failure.

We both did.

Sephiroth wasn't your failure. He chose to give his humanity up to the madness.

No, he.

The Sephiroth I knew didn't care to make himself grand in any way, much less be a god. We were friends through a mutual friend, but that didn't mean I shouldn't have.

I don't know what I could have done.

I should have at least put him out of his misery, like I did for.

...Zack, it wasn't your fault. Knowing what I do... I'm surprised he stayed sane as long as he did.

I'm your legacy, Zack. What you couldn't, I did.

I know it didn't happen because of me. It just... could have ended differently, I guess?

And the middle man gets no closure. ...I'm being really selfish.

It could have, if Hojo didn't use his own son as a test subject.

I saw you and Aerith. Together in the Lifestream. You were happy there.

...I didn't know about that part, but at the same time. I'm sadly not as shocked as I should be.

Lucky bastard was probably happy he got to watch all the action.

Insanity runs in that line, I think.

I wouldn't know. You kept on nagging me all the time.

Not in all of them, but that one, yeah.

What, did you forget to change your underwear every day?

Sometimes I wonder what my father was like, since my temper couldn't have come from my mother.

More like you kept on pushing about which woman I should really date.

...I like to think I resemble neither of my parents.

Oh, bullshit.

You probably do more than you think.

True.

really? wow

Angie Hugely. ♥

*laughs*

A warhorse in chainmail. *A*

yup!

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laughs

A warhorse in chainmail. A