45... okay that was interesting

[atouchofstrife]

Zack. Ready?


private//unhackable
So. Anita died. It's weird and I don't know what to do about it. I want to kill the bitch that hurt her and... I haven't felt that way for a long time. I'm glad I took a drive instead. I don't think they would have liked it if I ended up dying too.

Also, I'm not sure what this is suppose to mean... but I tried it anyways.

1. tiger - The tiger represents pride. While the tiger is beautiful and necessary and a thing of great worth in this world, it is best to keep tigers in the jungle and away from our day-to-day life. Otherwise, our poor cow and pig could be in danger.

horse - The horse represents family, your nuclear family as well as your extended family, cousins, and other kin. The horse helps to carry your weight, serves to move you forward, is a companion who goes with you wherever you need to be.

cow - The cow represents vocation; what you do in life, your occupation, career, job, where you want to be or what you want to accomplish, your goals, your ideals or foundations. We will call the cow 'ideals,' in fact. The cow or buffalo or ox, as some of you might know, is an animal held loftily by many cultures from my world.

sheep - The sheep represents love-- not just romantic love, but also self-love, love of family and friends, love for life. Gentle or passionate feelings, obligation to others. A sheep is a fairly harmless and defenseless thing, you realize. It needs to be protected and treated kindly for it to be useful.

pig - The pig represents material wealth and gain. Money, home, land, clothing, all those nice things in life. Pigs are a lucky thing, and not just lucky, but something wonderful. They represent plenty, nourishment, having our piece of the proverbial fat of the land. Oh, to be the pig.


2.
dog -trusting :: The dog represents how we view ourselves. It is just one word, not a complete picture. More of a snapshot-- one fleeting feeling in one single moment of time, the present. It could be how we consciously see ourselves or how we subconsciously see ourselves.

cat -warmth :: The cat represents one of the qualities that we see in the people who we surround ourselves with-- our friends, acquaintances, lovers and partners.

coffee -energy :: The coffee or tea represents romance to a lesser degree, and to a stronger degree, how we feel about or approach sex and sexual relationships.

ocean -life :: The ocean represents our life. It could be the past, the present, the future. What we are looking for, what we have, what we feel gives us the security that we long for or the answers that we need.

rat -secrets :: The rat represents our enemies. Those who we hate or who we feel work against us.

3. yellow -zack :: Yellow is the color of the saffron of a priest's robes. It represents in this situation a person whom we are guided by or who greatly influences our lives, typically for the better but not in all cases.

orange -yuffie :: Orange is the color of a sunrise. It represents in this situation a person whom you are curious about, who you wish to learn more about. Someone perhaps that you think that you could get along with in this or another situation. Maybe another lifetime.

red -vincent :: Red is the color of agni, fire. It is the most intense color and has the longest wavelength and can thus be seen the farthest (that is why the 'stop' light is red). It represents a person whom you feel passion for, whether or not that passion has laid itself bare. Not necessarily romantic or sexual passion-- one could feel a passionate friendship or a passionate hatred as well.

white -sephiroth :: White is essentially the color of nothing and of everything. White repels and reflects. This is why in my country and in most of the eastern countries, we wear white at a funeral. This is to tell the world that this person who has died is no longer an active participant. That the mourners repel the outside world, all that they have left of the deceased, it is within them. For the purposes of this exercise, white represents someone who you see yourself in-- who reflects parts of you.

green -aerith :: Green is the color of consciousness. The person that you identify with green is someone who is on your thoughts. Someone who you think about frequently, who you would find hard to forget. It can be for a good reason-- perhaps someone who changed your life for the better. It can be for very bad reasons, as well-- the green-eyed monster, perhaps?
//private

Comments

[plz-2-b-an-hero.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure yet. But...

[Zack mulled over this, leaning on an arm with his elbow on the table. Which direction should he take this conversation? There were things he wanted to know, but also things he needed to say - the latter of which he knew he'd be clumsy with, at best.]

[But it would be better to do that while he could, just in case. He'd broken promises in the past.]

I know this is going to sound lame, but - I'm sorry.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

[Cloud blinks at that and frowns, trying to remember why Zack would feel sorry until it hit him. He nodded once in acceptance of his words and went back to playing with the curling edge of the beer label.]

[plz-2-b-an-hero.livejournal.com]

I thought of it, when I talked to you after Anita... well.

Don't blame yourself for those kinds of things. I wouldn't have left you alone if I had a choice.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I know.

[He takes a drink of his beer and sits the bottle down, making a face at it like he wasn't sure why he did that.]

I still would have punched you.

[plz-2-b-an-hero.livejournal.com]

[Zack sat back in his chair, shaking his head with an odd smile on his face.]

If I'd lived, you mean? Or something else?

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

When I met you in the Lifestream.

[He smiled at that, lifting his head at an arrogant tilt.]

But... I thought you wanted to talk about what kind of shit I got myself into. Not about you apologizing for something outside of your control.

[plz-2-b-an-hero.livejournal.com]

I wanted to apologize and hit you over the head with the fact that it was outside of your control, too.

[Zack wiggled a finger at the younger-but-now-older man, grateful that the moment had passed and he was now free to up the theatrics to a normal and comfortable level.]

So hurry up and tell me the rest of the story! The part where you topple the evil corporation that caused your best friend's tragic demise.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

Huh. Like it was that easy.

[Cloud folded his arms across his chest and leaned his chair back, looking up at the cailing as if he found the memories there. It took him a while before he managed to find a starting point.]

I ended up getting pulled into the slums by a member of AVALANCHE and I spent a few months recovering from the poisoning. By the time I got out of it, I pretty much assumed your idenity except with my name and hired myseilf to them as a merc.

[plz-2-b-an-hero.livejournal.com]

But it's what happened, right~?

[He continued to lean back in his chair, the smile on his face lessening to something a little less manic and a bit more like his default expression. Cloud assuming his identity had been the first thing to worry him, when the man mentioned it a few days before. He wasn't insulted or flattered by the notion - all his mind would say was how unhealthy the reaction was and how he really shouldn't have greeted Cloud, fresh out of his coma-like state, with a spectacle like the one of reality.]

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

I guess.

[Cloud looked at Zack and away, scanning the room, finding someone else to focus on.]

Tifa had joined AVALANCHE as well and she used to give me strange looks when I talked about what happened back home. She didn't say anything because I was presenting myself as a SOLDIER 1st Class to Barret and well, they needed my strength.

We went after a couple reactors, taking down one and then attempting another. The second attempt is where ShinRa caught up to us and tried to kill us using a robot. We brought it down but the explosion from the reactor going threw me off the plate and into the slums.

Into a bed of flowers in a run-down church in fact.

[plz-2-b-an-hero.livejournal.com]

[Zack snickered to himself, the resemblance of at least the bare events half amusing him and half weirding him out. Cupping a hand at his mouth, he drawled,]

"Hel-looooooo~?"

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

[Cloud looked at Zack and smiled faintly, nodding.]

Yeah. She did that to me and we got talking. Then Reno showed up and chased up into the rafters and we dropped barrels down on him and the others. We were going through the park when we spotted Tifa being dragged off to the market.

Naturally we had to follow and rescue her.

[plz-2-b-an-hero.livejournal.com]

What, Aerith went with you? I'm surprised.

Why to the market, though? I thought that place was pretty redlight.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

The Don there was going to see if he wanted to make Tifa his bride.

Aerith was a good fighter, although she was better at healing. Wehn we got Tifa out through the sewer system, she helped cure us while we fought.

[plz-2-b-an-hero.livejournal.com]

........That sounds familiar but I can't place it.

And here I thought she'd just stare down a monster or two and they'd run away with their tails between their legs!

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

[The incident of the dress safety skritted, Cloud can get onto the rest of the story without having to mention it again.]

Not exactly. We got back to HQ and found out that ShinRa was going to drop a plate on the slums and blame AVALANCHE. We went to stop them but... it was too late. They also managed to kidnap Aerith too.

[plz-2-b-an-hero.livejournal.com]

[Zack would hear about that story some other time, really. Hopefully. He'd be sad if he didn't.]

...The hell'd they kidnap her for?

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

[All he had to do was ask Reno. There were pictures even of him in a dress and wig. Not that Cloud would ever admit to that.]

Didn't you know? She was the last of the Ancients. Hojo was still trying to look for the Promise Land and since his Sephiroth project was gone, he needed something else.

[plz-2-b-an-hero.livejournal.com]

[Cloud would hate both Zack and Reno for the rest of eternity, too. Reno, for showing Zack, and Zack, for making Cloud reenact it. ♥]

I knew. I just thought Tseng would have kept her away from a twisted freak like--

[Zack shifted suddenly in his seat, uncomfortable and remembering things he didn't want to think about. He'd hated needles enough before that experience.]

Let's move on.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

By that time, Tseng didn't have any say in what Hojo did.

[Cloud didn't like needles or doctors any more as well. Even the smell of a hospital would send him into uncontroled panic these days.]

We went to rescue her after making sure Barret's daughter was safe with Aerith's mother. We inflitrated the building, managed to get almost to the top but we were captured and put in holding. Then Sephiroth appeared, released us and killed the President.

[plz-2-b-an-hero.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's--

......Hunh.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

...He was after Jenova. We... were blamed for that as well.

[Cloud shifted in his seat and rubbed the back of his neck, frowning.]

I was having problems for a while. Someone talking to me, guiding me. It was weird. But I didn't think about it since we had to get out of the building. We left the building and Midgar and went chasing after Sephiroth.

[plz-2-b-an-hero.livejournal.com]

So they moved it to the Shinra building after Nibelheim, huh? Pretty stupid of them, if you ask me. Should have killed the thing before all that crap happened.

How far did the chase take you?

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

Back to Nibelheim for a short stay. They completely rebuilt it and put actors in the place of real people. And we freed Vincent and moved on. We faced off against the WEAPONS because the new President raised them to fight Meteor, we went to the Forgotten City, we went all over the world.

...Aerith died trying to wake Holy.

[plz-2-b-an-hero.livejournal.com]

Vincen--

[Zack stopped cold, blinking, really blinking at that. When Cloud had said "they" had left Midgar, he hadn't thought Aerith had gone with them. First was the pain of Cloud's words, and then the pain of remembering another broken promise, about the sky, and.]

......I. I see.