atouchofstrife | 140... father's day snowstorm

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140... father's day snowstorm

...I was told he died. No one knew who he was, and mother said he went into the mountains and never came back. So why now? Why am I thinking about it now? ~~Maybe it will go away if I stop thinking about it. Maybe I won't see him when I turn around again.~~

Thanks for coming, everyone. The snowball fight was fun, especially with the chocobos getting involved.

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A little.

(He really didn't want to say much about what he was hearing - it was strange, listening to someone he had no memories of talk about him as a baby.)

What's your's like?

(Reno really didn't want to think about the things his father was saying, which was why he was trying to ignore the man trailing him, trying so desperately to get his attention. It'd been like that when he was a kid, so why not now?)

My dad? ...he was strict. He had rules and expected ya to abide by them, or else. Liked order... planning... had every aspect of my life planned out from birth, y'know?

...he... (He had to take a breath here, shoving his hands deeper into the pockets of his thick winter coat.)

He was a good man.

Sounds like something hard for a kid to grow up with.

(Cloud shook his head, scattering snow and sighed, fingers ruffling the drooping spikes. His father trailed behind them, still crying, but for what reason Cloud didn't want to find out. There were too many reasons in his own mind for him to wish to know.)

I never knew my father. Mom said he was a good man, but the others... (He raised a shoulder in a shrug, pretty much referring that they saw that as another defect of Cloud's character - the town's troublemaker and one weird kid.)

Maybe ya knew him once, but forgot. Maybe that's why he's here today.

(As much as he hated it... sometimes Reno wished he could become the snow, frozen in an intricate lattice of water and blown wherever the wind took it. At least he wouldn't have to deal with these things that came.)

...I was a disappointment.

Sometimes you can't be what they want you to be.

(His mother gone in the wake of Sephiroth, his father lost and never returning. They had wanted him to be happy, but was he that? Did he even care?)

I'm not happy enough.

(Reno stopped in his tracks, giving Cloud a curious look)

What does bein' happy have to do with anythin', anyway? ...they never wanted us to be murderers, either.

That's all he's talking about inbetween the sobs.

(He looked at Reno and snorted, taking a step into one of the warmer places of the garden.)

But is that what you wanted to be?

(Reno had no good answer for Cloud, he just looked at the blond man and blinked slowly)

Did you?

I wanted to be a SOLDIER. I wanted to be like Sephiroth.

A long time ago... I wanted to protect people. Funny how those kinda things never turn out like we plan, huh?

(The turk continued on, taking refuge in the warmth of Xanadu from the snow still falling, brushing the snow off his chest.)

...do you have any idea how it is hearing the guy you looked up to most of your life sayin', he wishes he never had kids... that he wishes I never turned out lookin' like him?

Yeah. Funny.

(He did turn out like Sephiroth in a way, but not in the manner he thought he would have. Cloud wasn't sure if he would have stuck with the program if he did make it all those years ago. He rememebred how Zack acted near the end, right before his hometown went up in flames.)

No... not really.

(Reno wouldn't have changed the course of his life for a second, not for all the money and power in the world... the people he was with meant a lot to him, and that might have been the reason he was telling this to Cloud instead of Tseng. He didn't want them worried about him, but Cloud... there was an understanding. Neither of them spoke about what the other said.

But this was... hard to take, at best.)

He wanted me to be an architect.

(Cloud shuffled his feet, toeing off the rest of the slush as the air warmed up around them, and held out his hand to Reno for one of those smokes. Hero and super-whatever-the-hell Hojo made him into, he still felt like some sixteen year old failure sulking from home and family because he wasn't good enough.)

You might have ended up like Reeve stuck in that office with no real say about anything and tinkering with toys.

(Reno scoffed, pulling out the pack and dishing over a few cigarettes.)

With my personality? That's like sayin' you're suited to cheerleadin'.

Huzzah, ShinRa.

(He made a face, and put one of the cigarettes in his mouth and sighed, holding his hand out for a match or lighter.)

I guess that sometimes, we just fell into something that fitted us, you know?

(Cloud got a matchbook tossed at him, Reno pulling out his own lighter out of his pocket.)

Ain't that just life or somethin'? Far as I can figure it...

(A matchbook was better than trying to light up using a Fire. Cloud managed to get one lit and inhaled, shrugging at Reno's comment and his own uneasy thoughts.)

Something like that.

...rollin' with the punches. Sometimes gets you down to where ya just want it over with already.

As a wise woman once told me... dilly dally silly sally.

(Cloud looked over at Reno and almost grinned. Well at least tried. Sometimes it was just hard for him to get his mouth to work that way.)

I think you were there at the time.

(That made Reno laugh. He'd been there... he still remembered how heavy the ex-SOLDIER boy had been. Of course, after letting Rude carry Tifa...)

You should listen to her more often, get your wingnut head back on straight.

She does keep me sane, doesn't she?

(Is that a real fond smile ghosting across his face? Why, yes it is, although the cigarette in his mouth made him look less than angelic.)

I figure that's one of the girls main purpose in life, keepin' us sane.

(A slight pause, and a grin. The guy was trying, at least, but...)

You know... you look weird with a cigarette.

Think that it's working?

(Cloud blinked and looked at Reno, scowling around the smoke.)

I didn't know it mattered.

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140... father's day snowstorm

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