22... just been thinking

[atouchofstrife]

Three hours twenty-five minutes... much better. Nice match, Anita.

So what did you think of LOVELESS, Lestat? Ready to agree with Yuffie or argue against her points?

Does anyone know if this place has a working postal office or is everything usually through the Network?


private\unhackable
I've been talking a lot more to people here than back home. Telling them things that I just can't say. Maybe it is because here people just don't seem to know as much about ShinRa and Mako and the Lifestream. Explaining it makes me open to saying more than to those who know about it.

But still... the dreams. Seeing Zack again, walking away like that to his death, over and over again is bad. But when it's when I found him, still alive enough to tell me to live for us both and then hold me... I woke up feeling his blood against my face and in my hair. Did they... I still don't understand everything that was changed in me. I still don't know why me.

I wish I could talk to him. Just sit on his grave and just talk. Even if he can't talk back, it makes me feel... less alone.
/private

Comments

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

...That sounds far too young for immortality.

[vampbratprince.livejournal.com]

It was to tie Louis to my side...

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

Did it work?

[vampbratprince.livejournal.com]

For a time.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

Then she grew up?

[vampbratprince.livejournal.com]

A child changed into a vampire cannot age.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

Aging has nothing to do with growing up.

[vampbratprince.livejournal.com]

She attacked me and tried to kill me.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

What happened after?

[vampbratprince.livejournal.com]

I came back and with Louis' help they tried to kill me again.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

Was it hate or was it the need to be free that drove them?

[vampbratprince.livejournal.com]

Apparently both. Though, they both still loved me as well.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

I see.

It must have been hard.

[vampbratprince.livejournal.com]

It was. But that was many years ago.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

Oh.

...Sorry if it was painful to talk about. I shouldn't pry.

[vampbratprince.livejournal.com]

Hardly. I talk about it often.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

Huh.

...Does the talking help?

[vampbratprince.livejournal.com]

Hm...An excellent question. I think I talk about it because I enjoy the memories of my days with them.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

Despite the pain of how it ended?

[vampbratprince.livejournal.com]

Yes. Despite Claudia's death, the constant fights with Louis, and the pain, I enjoy recalling those days.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

Did you kill her?

[vampbratprince.livejournal.com]

No. I did not.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

Oh.

I... have a hard time remembering the past.

[vampbratprince.livejournal.com]

I have lost three of those I have created. Two of which I cherished. Others have wandered away from me and they return.

I could be like many and forget the past but I choose not to. The results are my books.

[cloudsinstrife.livejournal.com]

I had no choice.

Is that why you invite strange people to live with you?